Today’s math lesson….

May 31, 2008


Grover Cleveland defeated James Blaine in 1884 to become the 22nd President; lost in the Electoral College to Benjamin Harrison in 1888 then won the presidency over Harrison in 1892. Cleveland is the only man elected to serve nonconsecutive presidential terms.
So ‘Bush 41’ and ‘Bush 43’ refer to administrations, not Presidents [there hasn’t been a 43rd President yet].

Grab that goal post…gotta go!

If you hold your mouth right, stand on one foot, pat your head with one hand, rub your tummy with the other hand and turn your head and cough, then you can play the ‘Bill and Hillary Math Game’, too. When talking about Michigan, keep saying ’every vote should count’ [talk really fast, sing Yankee Doodle and frantically wave things if it’s noted that nobody’s name but Hillary’s was on the ballot so no voter, not even one, could pick Obama.].

Grab that goal post…gotta go!

Florida’s like that, too, sorta; there was more than one name but nobody campaigned. [Again, talk really fast, sing Yankee Doodle and frantically wave things].

Grab that goal post…gotta go!

In order for the ‘Bill and Hillary Math Game’ to work, talk about how all 50 states should count—unless they had caucuses, so Wyoming, Washington, North Dakota, Nevada, Nebraska, Minnesota, Maine, Kansas, Iowa, Colorado, Alaska, Hawaii and Idaho have to be tossed out; they don’t count anymore. The ‘Bill and Hillary Math Game’ won’t work if they’re allowed to stay. Don’t try to reconcile the phrase, “all 50 states should count “ with the 12 disqualified caucus states or you’ll end up like Darren Steven’s mother on Bewitched and get a “sick headache” and you may throw up.) [Time for talking really fast, singing Yankee Doodle and frantically waving things].

Grab that goal post…gotta go

Some unanswered questions:


Why is Bill Clinton giving answers to questions nobody asked? Maybe, as Hardball’s Chris Matthews suggested, Clinton’s talking to Harvey, the six foot invisible Pooka rabbit [“Six feet three and a half inches. Now let's stick to the facts”].


Hillary and Chelsea Clinton won’t take any questions about Monica Lewinsky on the Democratic primary campaign trail. That’s fair enough; she’s technically not their problem but is, as Pat Buchanan calls it, “The Republican Attack Machine” gonna be so polite? It’ll be all Monica, all the time. No discussion about the war in Iraq, healthcare or medicine, obscene gas prices, endangered animals or global warming, the housing crisis; instead, it’ll all be about character snipes and wedge issues.


George H. W. Bush>Bill Clinton>George W. Bush>Hillary Clinton>Jeb Bush>Chelsea Clinton>then what, the Barb and Jenna co-Presidency?


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